Things that Robert is thinking about that keep him from accomplishing anything.

 
Did I Blow a Seal? No, but I Flogged the Dolphin
A friendly (anonymous) reader in The Navy responded to my dolphin/Tailhook jokes (Ed: I'll figure out how to link soon. It's 3/28/03 and 3/29/03 below). Apparently, it's worse than you can imagine:

the navy special operations divers and SEALs have been using the dolphins for some time for find mines, hunt for enemy divers trying to attack our ships, etc. the guys who dive with the dolphins often become "attached" to the dolphins just like the workers at sea world. sometimes the dolphins behave as you may have seen a dog or cat in heat behave. in cases like this, the only way to quell their aggressive behavior is by jerking them off. i heard it from a guy who has seen it done, so it must be true. after that, the dolphins (without having a cigarette) seem content enough to get back to work.

Is there a line for this on your resume? Does this go under, "Special Qualifications?" Perhaps this will become a new motivational strategy at work. Talk to your HR Department, pronto!
posted by RSaunders at 2:03 PM ⇒