Procrastination Nation

Things that Robert is thinking about that keep him from accomplishing anything.

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Saturday, May 03, 2003
Back from St.Louis
Buenos dias! Just concluded a whirlwind trip to St.Louis and lovely St.Roberts (a.k.a. Fort Leonard Wood), Missouri. The last few miles I spent listening to Spanish tapes. "A comparison of e and i following unstressed syllables." Soon I will be able to pronounce many Spanish words with little or no understanding of their meaning. Like my English.

Here is a rough outline of my itinerary the past couple of days:
  • Wednesday 30 April
    • Spend all morning finishing all the work you needed to get done but haven't because you were blogging.
    • Leave 90 minutes late for St.Louis where you are to pick up your sister at the airport
    • Arrive only 45 minutes late
    • Give up on going to Cards-Mets game to spend quality time with sister at a riverfront restaurant
    • Spend dinner guarding meal from overzealous busboys--if you pause to breathe, they're on you like Eustachy on a coed
    • Choke down the selections recommended by waitress who only occasionally visits table
    • Piss off busboys by ordering dessert at your outside table while they're trying to lock up the patio furniture (it's only 9:00 pm for bleep's sake)
    • Go to hotel

  • Thursday 1 May
    • Oversleep because sister set alarm wrong--cancel plans for Arch
    • Leave for Ft. Leonard Wood, stop at one of the 3 Wal-Marts on the 2 hr drive for miscellaneous items
    • Check into hotel and change for the Army's "family debriefing"--not nearly as creepy as it sounds
    • Confirm observation from Gulf War II that the Army's main function is to train young men and women to operate PowerPoint and make speeches to small gatherings
    • Fall out for dinner and recall how the restaurants around every Army base feature the cuisine of every place in the world that we have a base crammed into the dirtiest strip malls bookended by liquor stores and tatoo or massage parlors--whenever I drive past them in Ft. Meade I think, "Ick! How can this place be open?" and remember as I shower off at my destination that they have a captive population
    • Enjoy fine German meal nonetheless
    • Collapse in bed

  • Friday 2 May
    • Get up and go to graduation
    • Realize how young the graduates' girlfriends are: despite being no more than 52 degrees and overcast, every girl between the ages of 16 and 21 wears her most revealing dress, meaning no sleeves and no shoulders, often no backs
    • Notice that "cadences" (a.k.a. the marching chants) have a different rhythm than in all the war movies I've ever watched, realize that the Army happens to be more "ethnic" than Hollywood armies, wonder if there's a correlation
    • Replay every military-related movie in my head as Army band plays--curiously, the theme from Stripes did not make the playlist
    • Remeber I have tape recorder in backpack and tape the cadences, vow to pitch it to an up-and-coming rap artist
    • Check out of hotel and get lunch featuring the saltiest burrito ever made--missed the note on the menu highlighting their Dead Sea ranchero sauce
    • Head back to St. Louis, check into hotel, go to Busch Stadium to pick up our half-price Cards-Expos tickets--you can park on the street right outside the ticket office and get tickets (I'll have more on the stadium experience in a future blog entry)
    • Go to Anheuser-Busch brewery tour, notice creepy similarity to Duff tour, pinch some authentic beechwood as souvenir
    • Rush out to catch the very last tram to the top of the Arch, observe the similarity between the Mississippi River and the creek outside Shawshank Prison
    • Head back to hotel to change and go to Cards-Expos game--watch RF Eduardo Perez misjudge a flyball and falldown while official scorer misjudges the play a double instead of E-9 (more on this in a future blog entry)
    • Chow overpriced dogs, mildly disappointed in food experience
    • Return to hotel, watch part of 3rd OT of Devils-Lightening game, but leave the tv in the exercise room to go watch in our hotel room
    • Look for game in the room and realize we were Tailhooked--the Devils scored while we were in the elevator

  • Saturday 3 May
    • Wake up at 6:00 to get breakfast and checkout
    • Get out of bed eventually at 7:15 and rush to breakfast, cram omelettes down throats, rush to airport at 8:05 for 9:00 flight
    • Drop everyone off and drive back to Nashville

Whirlwind reaped!

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