Procrastination Nation

Things that Robert is thinking about that keep him from accomplishing anything.

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Sunday, October 19, 2003
Random Baseball Coverage Notes
  • Where is Al Leiter?: The broadcast is really suffering without him. He needs to get some polish to his voice, but his insights were great in the Cubs-Marlins series.
  • Buck-McCarver: I used to kind of like Joe Buck, but ever since he got his eyes LASIKed, he's become a good deal more obnoxious as a broadcaster. He's trying too hard to be the next Bob Costas. (Speaking of which, I miss Costas-Kubek doing AL games in the late 80s/early 90s.) McCarver on the other hand is one of those difficult guys to rate. I always enjoyed him growing up when he did the Mets games on WOR. However, I found that he was two different broadcasters: I liked the one who did the local games (Mets), but the one on national games, in his effort to "dumb it down for the casual fan," always came across as patronizing. I'd like to listen to them call a Cards game in the middle of July, but not necessarily the World Series.
  • Kan u reed this?: One of my big broadcasting pet peeves is reading infographics that are on the screen. Do one or the other, but not both. If you must do both, at least be a little more smooth about it or add some additional piece of info. Deaf people will still get to see the graphic on the closed captioning. Also, how many times will I have to read an infographic about Alex Gonzalez being nicknamed Sea Bass?
  • Hubba-hubba Zelasko: Has anybody noticed the transformation of Jeanne Zelasko? Since she's grown her hair out, it looks like Fox has her on a program to physically resemble Jigglin' Jillian Barberie. The only thing missing is skanked up outfits. Right now, she's a little too Laura Bush.
  • Topology & Kennedy: A 1000x relief of Kevin Kennedy's face reveals his skin is more topologically diverse than the Himalayas.
  • It's Enrico Pallazzo: Or, it should be. Even worse than having the hated Yankees in the World Series is having to listen to a 10-minute rendition of "God Bless America." At least it's not that NYPD cop--which was a 2-for-1 ass kiss of patriotism--but this guy is rapidly becoming the male Celine Dion.
  • Now, when do "Skin" and "24" and "That 70's Show" start?: You would think in this age of target marketing that they could distribute different commercials based on your viewing patterns and interests. I mean, isn't there a way that I could sign a pledge that I will watch "24" in order not to see this advertisement again? I'd be more inclined to watch the story of the pornographer's daughter and the DA's son if it were called "Nipple" or "Money Shot." As it is now, it looks like it's geared to its initial 6- or 13-episode target and then I wonder where the hell it can go: you can't see him/her!; we're seeing each other; something stops them from seeing each other shortly; they get back together; repeat. I don't see how this can sustain itself. And if only Ashton Kutcher were as seriously deformed as portrayed on those promos. This is only partly motivated out of Demi Moore-related jealousy.

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