Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Eve of Destruction
Tomorrow marks my debut as a university teacher. I will teach undergraduate research methods course under the most ridiculous course title, "Systematic Inquiry." I am excited to get to do this, but I am kind of anxious about the outcome. For somebody who craves praise and desperately wants to be liked, standing before a group of 20-year-olds in a required course trying to impart the wisdom of the ages seems like a recipe for disaster. I was asked the other day, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" I said, "They might come back on Monday."
I was only half joking. I like the idea of this as a regular performance opportunity. I like the idea of putting together new material twice a week for them. However, I'm not used to the scheduling aspect. I can't be late, as I often am. I can't half-ass my way through this. Or, I could, but I actually take seriously the responsibility of teaching them.
I don't have any grand illusions that they'll become researchers or that they'll like the material. I do hope that they will be able to separate the course and its content from their judgment of me, even if I suppose that's impossible since I determine the content.
Anyway, I guess I'll take a break from obsessing about this for a while and get back to work.
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