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Monday, June 30, 2003
Dave v. Jay CNN has an article on why Dave can't beat Jay in the ratings. I may come back and re-edit this so it's coherent, but here's my initial take. The article gives a weak version of the central issue: they're different kinds of funny--Jay is set-up/punch-line, Dave is more reactive-subtle. This plays out not just in terms of strengths and weaknesses (e.g., Jay has a better monolog, Dave is funnier in interviews). It comes out in their personalities. Jay "works" every single joke. He's like a joke machine that seldom deviates from the pattern, getting laughs out of the mechanics even when the joke isn't particularly good. He's giving every vocal trick imaginable to squeeze every bit out of each joke. Dave seems so much more casual, and for the most part he is. He relies heavily on facial expressions and sight gags. However, he works his jokes, too, primarily by recycling and calling back to a joke. Norm MacDonald has the best Letterman impersonation, highlighted by his repeated use of "Got any gum?" and "Uh, ya want some shrimp?" You also see it in the repetition of the bits. Dr. Phil every night. Alternating nights of "Will It Float?" and "Is This Anything?" Another key difference in their comedy though is the object of the humor. Nothing epitomizes the difference so greatly as the difference between "Jaywalking" and "Will It Float?" Jaywalking derives its humor from making you feel superior to the idiots on Hollywood. "You'd have to be a moron to not know who the president is. Look at this moron?" And you laugh. "Will it Float" has almost no inherent comedic potential. That it gets a laugh at all is entirely due to the theatrical presentation: staging, Dave and Paul's interplay, the sideshow freaks with the hula hoops and the grinder and the supermodels, and the "contest" aspect. And Dave is the key to making the whole thing work. Importantly, it doesn't belittle anyone and the only way you laugh is if you enjoy the performances, primarily Dave's. This is not to say that Dave never puts people down. Imagine getting called a fat ass at the drive-thru getting your lunch, as when Dave worked the McDonald's drive-thru. But, while Dave's line gets a laugh, the humor is still based in the situation that everyone can identify with: the simple but impossible task, in this case, getting lunch. While the ethics and merits of this kind of joke compared to the open ridicule of Jaywalking are debatable (at least the Jaywalker gets a choice in participating in the gag), there're other examples from Dave's history. Dave follows comedic formulae for situational humor, and Jay follows comedic formulae for superiority comedy. The irony is that, I suspect, Dave's appeal is to more intellectual folks, while Jay's is more blue collar. Jay will forever be the comic at the strip club desperate to do everything to bring your focus on his joke instead of the naked broad hovering over you, even when there's no naked broad above you. Importantly, the style difference for Jay helps him keep people from switching channels: whether it's big bare breasts or 187 other channels, the task is the same, and Jay approaches it that way. Dave, on the other hand, relies on the audience paying attention the way a theatre crowd would. He assumes you're there to see him and that you'll pay attention. His casualness and the repetitiveness of the show from night to night allow the viewer to switch channels or even to stay away, especially with a lame guest (e.g., when Jack Hannah headlines a Monday night). Dave's confident you'll come back, but if you switch away, while he may beat himself up over it, Dave's not going to change anything about the type of material to keep you. You can really see the difference in the Late Show by comparing him to the guest hosts. Even people who have done really well (Vince Vaughn, Elvis Costello, Jimmy Fallon) can't do what Dave does. The show can have 5 or 6 guests because none of the replacements can fill the time like him. The replacements ask their questions, the guests answer them, there's maybe a laugh, and they go to the next question or the next commercial. So, the upshot is: Dave can't beat Jay because Dave's style permits you to "cheat" while Jay's doesn't; and, Dave's comedy, even when it's juvenile, appeals to a smarter/hipper audience than Jay's and that's an inherently smaller crowd. Saturday, June 28, 2003
Meetings, Meetings I've been out the better part of the past two days attending the 20th Annual AcademyHealth Health Services Research conference, held this year in Nashville. Putting together my poster for the meeting, attending sessions, hob-knobbing, and leading guided tours of our wonderful city. While I had to force my university pay over $1000 for me to attend this conference (and I'm not even staying at the stinkin' hotel), you can enjoy the highlight of the conference, Friday's plenary session keynote speaker, Dr. James Morone. His talk will air on C-SPAN BookNotes this weekend. He said it's at 9:00 on Sunday, but I don't know if that's a.m. or p.m. (I think he said a.m.) and CT or ET. I don't see him listed on C-SPAN's t.v. schedule, but you should get up and look for it. If you're flipping channels, look for a skinny white guy doing a Stevie Wonder impersonation. The performance is hilarious, but the message about the politics of health and health care are wonderful. The talk is based on his current book, Hellfire Nation: The Politics of Sin in American History, which is nominated for next year's Pulitzer Prize, and his forthcoming book in 2004 on sin and health care. Thursday, June 26, 2003
Blogger Weirdness If you had trouble getting to my site, I'm sorry. Something kooky was happening with Blogger and some other site was displaying under my address, at least on my computer. Looks like I can see it now. Carrots and Sticks The Fed lowered its federal funds rate by one-quarter point in an effort to encourage banks to lower interest rates. The theory is that by making money cheaper, businesses and consumers will borrow money, make new purchases, and stimulate economic growth. We must do this now, proponents of rate cuts argue, because we have to be very concerned about deflation, the situation in which economy-wide prices fall. This creates a problem because people will postpone consumption if they know prices will be lower in the future. Does everybody follow this? People will not buy things now because they know prices will be lower in the future. What is an interest rate? It is how much one party (a bank) is willing to accept to forego alternative uses of the money it holds, and how much another person (the borrower) is willing to pay to use that money. It is the price of money. So, if we are worried people will not purchase and invest now because they can get a better deal in the future, then why shouldn’t we expect businesses and consumers do the same thing when it comes to borrowing? The past three years of recession have been a testament to their willingness to postpone such decisions. Knowing that disgruntled members of the Fed want to lower rates further next quarter makes me want to delay my purchase until next quarter. Deflation is not just a possibility, it's a reality in the market for money. The Fed’s strategy of lowering interest rates has not worked for precisely this reason. Instead of using the carrot of lower interest rates to stimulate the economy, it is time to use the stick of higher interest rates. Everyone is stalling to get a better deal, but at some point the lender has to walk away from the table. Threaten to raise interest rates, and businesses will stop hemming and hawing and take action. In fact, there will be such a rush that interest rates will rise further because of the demand increase (new buyers of money will enter the market "to get the last of the great deals"). The psychology will have turned. It seems counter-intuitive, but that's the way it is. Wednesday, June 25, 2003
New Slant Is Out The new issue of The Slant is out. Check it out. My article, "Man Uses Internet to Better Himself" is part of the mix. Tuesday, June 24, 2003
Seeds of Destruction Saw this article in the Washington Post on video piracy. It seems that studios could avoid the digital download problem by simply not releasing DVDs. They choose to release DVDs because they want to make the extra money, but there's no (or only limited) piracy problems if they control access to the content by only screening it in movie theatres. Some stuff would make it online (e.g., people who DV a movie in the theatre, maybe taping a VHS tape onto a computer and burning it to DVD), but it would be obviously inferior in quality, whereas MP3 has become ubiquitous because its files are not too noticably inferior to the original WAV files. I don't think this is the answer, but when the challenges to the copyright laws make it to the Supreme Court and if I'm on the bench (or a clerk), that's the question I'm asking the MPAA lawyer. New Slant Wednesday The next issue of The Slant comes out Wednesday. Be sure to go have yourself a laugh. Hillary Contest Winner Andrew Krucoff of New York City has won the "Hillary Contest." He came the closest of all entrants to guessing the number of references to Monica Lewinsky, by name, in her new memoir. (The answer is 12, including the index.) Congratulations! Andrew wins...something. Immortalization on my blog, obviously, but also a copy of Monica's Story by Andrew Morton. Saturday, June 21, 2003
NHL Draft 2003 I spent the better part of today attending the NHL 2003 Entry Draft here in Nashville. The announced crowd was over 11,000. Not too shabby. We had worse attendance some nights in December before the January-February rush to .500. If I get a chance this weekend, I may post my review on the whole first round. For now, I'll just review the draft itself and the Predators selections through the 2nd round. The Draft The NHL draft is cooler than the other drafts for several reasons. First, compared with the NFL, it's a 1000 times faster. Nothing infuriates me like waiting the full 15 minute allotment for the first pick in the draft, who signed with the team before the draft. Ditto for subsequent teams when they know who has gone before. The NHL limits teams to 5 minutes per selection (with a t.v. fudge factor and, I'm not kidding, a "time out" process that was used more than once to exceed the limit). Second, all the teams draft in one place. Wayne Gretzky is sitting on the concrete floor of the Gaylord Entertainment Center with all the other schmoes from his organization and every other organization in the NHL. For those of you viewing at home, this has to be a godsend: you're not subjected to the coach and GM's cliches for "why did you pick this guy?" ("He has tremendous upside. He was the best player on the board. He plays with an edge."). Third, because the draft takes place in an arena, every invited player--and hockey invites roughly the full first 3 rounds--plus almost their entire families show up. It's like a high school graduation ceremony for these kids, one in which the names are read in something other than alphabetical order so that you wonder if somebody transferred your name to the "repeat 12th grade" list. Even the kids who don't go in the first round get to come down on the floor, get a jersey, and meet the whole scouting department. The NBA by contrast invites maybe a dozen players, sequesters them from the world except for that glimpse when the curtain is pulled and the player steps out of the modified green room in the most outrageous suit imaginable. Come to think of it, sequestering them is good. Not everything is great. While it's neat to have the GMs announce the picks instead of the commissioner (as in other sports), the early announcements take a little while to get through because they have to praise the host city, host team, their own team, their own host city, the league, the league champions, the league runners-up, the inventor of the vulcanization process by which we get hockey pucks, the makers of hydrogen and oxygen without which we could not have water to freeze, and so on. All in all though, they moved pretty quickly, completing the first round in about 2:45, even with a handful of trades and the announcement that Roger Neilson died, which sobered the mood. The crowd got into it pretty well. They booed the teams in the Predators' division plus the other big market clubs (NYR, PHI, etc.). We got to see all the NHL hardware--and the NHL gives out more awards than any sports league in the world--on display. And everyone was polite to the draftees, even after the tedium of seeing these kids slap on their jersey and hug the office staff for their team. The highlight for the hometown crew was the Preds' selection of Ryan Suter. It was nice to be making a pick early, but the crowd seemed a little extra enthusiastic over Suter because of his bloodlines. If only we were drafting racehorses. I hope he works out. When you have no history of your own, anything that connects you to the league's history takes on greater importance. If they put on a player's bio that he used one of Wayne Gretzky's old sticks, it would be a blurb in our media guide. Predators Picks Rd 1: #7 Overall: Ryan Suter, D, US Developmental League He rated between 5 and 11 overall on different boards and among the top 3 defensemen in the draft. The Predators need a lot, and defense is one of those things. The probable departure of Cale Hulse and possible departure of Bill Houlder means relying on the few possible minor leaguers at Milwaukee (Dan Hamhuis, Tomas Kloucek) to step up and see continued improvement in players like Mark Eaton. Andy Delmore is not likely to be one of those step up guys defensively. I'm intrigued by the idea of drafting an American-born high school player. Suter is not technically a HS player because he has been playing for the developmental league, but he hasn't been competing in college or in the major junior leagues which is where the best young North American talent plays. Perhaps my memories of Bobby Carpenter's poor development with the Caps scarred me, but I say you're asking for trouble taking one. Just like taking high school pitchers in baseball. Likewise, I wonder about Los Angeles taking Brian Boyle, from St.Sebastian's H.S. in Massachusettes. Taking him is especially interesting given that Braydon Coburn and Dion Phaneuf were available. Coburn has size, and Phaneuf charged up the board, earning comparisons to Scott Stevens (another Capitals scar). My guess is that Suter is a safe pick: he plays well at both ends rather than specializing in one or the other; he provides instant history and media attention; and, he may take less time to develop, if exposure to an NHL family is indeed beneficial in that way. (Could be just another scouting myth.) If there's one thing the Predators can be counted on to do, it's to pick the safe player. So, we'll hope he turns out great, because we have no choice. He's ours. Rd 2: #35 Overall: Konstantin Glazachev, Yaroslavl, Russia The classic productive Russian goal scorer (Federov) or the classic problemed Russian goal scorer (Bure)? On a team that needs scoring, the promise of scoring is sufficient to get fans atwitter. Jury's still out on our own Denis Arkhipov, but at least he'll have somebody to talk to in the mother tongue. Looking at Glazachev's stats, it's not clear why he's rated so high--between 15 and 22--but I suspect from reading the other Russians' stats that there's a huge missing data problem (e.g., they play in a lot of games outside of their primary team). If he provides any offense, he's definitely a "value" pick. Worth the risk considering what was on the board. Rd 2: #37 Overall: Kevin Klein, D, St. Michael's, OHL I thought this was an absolute steal. The only other player I thought, "Well, maybe they should go for him" was Richard Stehlik, who was a few places higher than Klein in the scouting reports. And we got Stehlik in the 3rd round. Thumbing through my draft guide, Klein was one of two players I circled and said, "Why isn't he higher, and I hope he falls to us." (The other was Hugh Jessiman. I circled Patrick O'Sullivan because how do you pass on a guy who averages nearly 1.5 points per game! Apparently others didn't value that until Minnesota came along in Round 2.) Klein' points per game rose by .25 between his first and second season. He has decent size, is a little older than his cohorts, a good positional defender, and--a huge deal for the Predators, about which I'll vent in the future--can handle the puck. And sure enough, he fell right into our lap. Dare we dream that he's another Kimmo Timonen? Still, we were a little disappointed: if we had drafted Kevin Kline, we'd have Phoebe Cates at the games. Rd 2: #49 Overall: Shea Weber, D, Kelowna, WHL After the Preds' scouting department shakeup, the team makes its first dip into the WHL, from which they've drafted many of their top stars (Hartnell, Upshall). A defensive defenseman from the Preds' wishlist. Judging from his PIM, he's willing to mix it up a little (another check on the wishlist), too. I'm trying to think why I recognize Shea Weber's name. Maybe I have him confused with someone else. Thursday, June 19, 2003
Sue Yourself Thin This article at USAToday talks about coming lawsuits against fast food conglomerates. I've wondered for years if there's not a more efficient market solution, a form of energy tax on food. Charge a tax based on the calories (or fat content or whatever) in the food. I've called it in the past, "The Fat Tax." There's probably a legitimate economic basis for such a food tax since the person making the eating decision does not bear all the costs of her/his private eating decisions. For example, if you eat fast food, develop diabetes, go on disability, and get Medicaid, then the nation is paying for your treatment for an avoidable disease. (The same argument applies for the multiple disease outcomes related to eating unhealthy foods or over-eating generally.) It might be cost effective for us to tax your food sufficiently to deter your over-consumption of foods that produce health problems. You could tweak this to be for "prepared foods" (i.e., those that can be eaten directly) rather than all foods (e.g., exempt sugar and flour because they're just raw materials for food rather than food), but it's not clear that an exemption is necessary. We have variations of this already. For example, some states charge higher sales taxes on "junk food." But, imagine applying it on a broader scale. Certainly states might enjoy the additional source of revenue. Wednesday, June 18, 2003
Drug Purchasing Lots of news these days about prescription drug pricing. Maine won its suit to leverage its Medicaid buying power on behalf of the uninsured. Illinois received approval from HHS to pilot test expanding Medicaid coverage for seniors to include prescription drugs. The VA gets a PR piece from USAToday. And Congress is debating proposals for Medicare prescription drug benefits. One option that seems not to have been considered is creating private buyer markets. I don't have any problem with government purchasing co-ops like the VA or Medicaid proposals. But, I wonder why a well-connected private, politically active group couldn't negotiate for these same benefits directly. Specifically, I'm thinking of the AARP. I know why they don't--because they want to get the care free from the government--but if the goal were to provide prescription drugs cheaply to seniors, AARP would seem to be in a terrific position to negotiate discounts from drug companies. In fact, such a drug benefit might be an even bigger boon to AARP membership. The infrastructure and political power already exists to make such a program happen. Similarly, it would seem natural for other groups to organize for these and other benefits. Why couldn't NOW organize a special health insurance program for women? Or, the NAACP to provide health insurance for its members? Even better, it would be interesting to see groups organize specifically to do these things. Couldn't divorced women form an organization themselves to offer credit rating assistance, short-term insurance, job search/career assistance? Or divorced men? I guess I'm just intrigued to see organized political effort for specific accomplishments rather than traditional legislative lobbying. Monday, June 16, 2003
Fighting Nemo Just got back from Birmingham this morning. I nearly became the first person to get in a fight at a G-rated movie. Not quite as exciting as a Little League hockey practice or baseball game, but pretty exciting nonetheless. The Scene: Mopsy and I are sitting in the first row at "entrance level" to the stadium theatre; in front of us is a walkway and then stairs leading down to the seats where you need a Craftmatic adjustable bed to see the screen. Preceding Action: At the movie's end, we remain seated to let people go by so we can watch the credits and possible out-takes. Well, we couldn't see because everyone was either standing in the way or walking in the way, so we make our move to go forward to the lower-level. Rising Action: For those of you who don't know, I'm about 6'2" and Mopsy's about 5'3". So, I can stand in place and see the screen and not have so many problems. People don't do much to move me around. However, Mopsy gets cut off by a kid (9-year old who's a couple inches shorter than her) who brushes past her. Kind of irritating, but then the kid's dad cut in front of her with even less space bumped into her. So, Mops' goes, "Oh, Rude and Ruder." I only noticed after the exchange, seeing her giving him lip and then sitting down, and him giving lip back and coming toward her and hovering over her to threaten her. I'm guessing the guy is in the 5'9"-10" range and in his mid-40s. What's he gonna do, hit Mopsy? What a fucking tool? Climax: So, from about 3 seats away and the row in front of him, I say in my "outdoor voice," in front of all the kids and their families, "Why don't you leave her the fuck alone?" and stepped in closer. I could see in my field of vision that people stopped shuffling out of the theatre. He came toward me, and we had us a stare down. Falling Action: He flinched first, "I just lost my kid in the theatre and can't find him." I said, "Good. Why don't you go take care of that?" And he turned and left. Denouement: We missed the credits that we wanted to see, but I got showered with praise and love for defending my sweetie. Epilogue: It's weird though because while I'm proud for sticking up for her, I have a huge amount of guilt for doing it. What if that guy goes home and beats his kid because of me? Or, has this as one of those life moments that gnaws at him for the rest of his life, the time when he was threatened at a dumb kids movie that he probably didn't want to see in the first place? I could have been part of a pattern of bad experiences, nay, even the culmination of all his life's frustrations. And that's with not even a punch thrown. Even in victory, defeat seeps in. Thursday, June 12, 2003
Fished My Wish? After griping about housing markets, the Gods sent me this greeting card in the form of a CNN/Money article about the problems at Freddie Mac. One predicted outcome is a drop in housing prices. Of course, I've probably just jinxed it all. So, if your houses stay up in value, you can thank me for my hubris in posting this. This other link at USAToday, check out the infobox: does this not sound like a pyramid scheme? Maybe they're not explaining it in sufficient detail. Wednesday, June 11, 2003
Quick Updates The job hunt process is going slowly, but I'm starting to get some action. I've heard from two universities in Chicago. Am about to send a few to other cities, too. Some entertainment-related, some academic. We'll see which bottles the fates receive and respond to. Also, I'm going to a bookstore this weekend to count up the Monica references in Hillary's book. I should have a winner in the Hillary Contest announced by early next week. Monday, June 09, 2003
Ticket Prices Dave Pinto at BaseballMusings.com points to an article in the NYTimes on variable ticket pricing and gives it a thumbs up. Basically, sellers try to segment the market by charging different prices for different days of the week and/or different opponents. I am the last person that will cry about "the poor pitiful fans" who complain about high ticket and souvenir prices. I will question though the value/benefit of this for the franchises. First of all, if this is such a great deal, why not just sell all the seats on eBay or their own auction site and get all the marginal revenue possible for all the tickets to all the games? I don't think it's that costly to implement technologically. I think it's because even baseball owners, who would love to be getting the prices that scalpers get (esp. as priced for Cubs games and other select markets), know that they can only expect to benefit in limited circumstances. Those circumstances are typically when casual fans--people who are not season ticket holders and/or have no interest in the sport as a sporting event but only go for the "social" aspects (e.g., on business accounts. to see and be seen and be the talk of cocktail parties). They attract new money and new butts to the seats and displace old money and old butts--not all of them, as some will fork over the money, but most won't. And this is the second problem: these marginal consumers, while contributing extra money, don't value the product. They're not coming back for that Wednesday afternoon game against the Devil Rays or that Thursday night basketball game against the Grizzlies. Sure, the team benefits from the influx of cash, and maybe that extra money is turned into new talent/production on the field (though probably only if they have a Beane-disciple in the front office). By stating that some games are more valuable than others, you create a situation in which some games are clearly less valuable. And when you alienate the fans who really care and really show up by pricing them out of the best games when they've been coming during the lean years, they've started in motion a change in the tastes of the baseball fan. Without them to support the prices for the crappy games, the bottom will fall out of the market. Is a Thursday night Expos-Cardinals game in the last row of the upper deck really worth $22? Shit, no. That's why they had to institute half-price sales for that game. They will start substituting to other leagues (e.g., should I go to the Bowie Baysox or the Baltimore Orioles) and other entertainment as well. They may not renew that season ticket. They will continue undermining the value of the product in the non-premium games. What happens when your entire city refuses to go to games? Detroit? If the tickets were free, would people show up there? There may come a time when this is the standard. Imagine $20 opening night tickets for the next Matrix sequel. Or $30. Or adult prices (or higher) to kids on the next Disney feature. When you try to get every dollar out of people, you antagonize them to the point where they are that much more reluctant to shell out a dollar for you at all. Sometimes you have to hold the line on the upper end of prices in order to hold the line at the bottom end. "Do You Believe in Synergy?...Yes! If you're like me and watching the Stanley Cup playoffs--and judging from the ratings, you're not at all like me--you have one major aspect of the telecast: how many people it takes to report on the game. The pre-game/intermission duties are handled by John Saunders, Barry Melrose, and (huh?) Chris Berman! (What bet did the NHL guys lose to get stuck with Berman?) In the booth, you have Gary Thorne, John Davidson (no, the other one), and Bill Clement. On the sidelines you have Brian Engblom, Darren Pang, and the woman who's playing Melissa Stark for this series. (Yes, I reveal my true sexist nature by not remembering her name...at least I had the courtesy not to sleep with her before forgetting it). And as backup intermission guy they have Steve Levy on duty. Apparently the producers thought him only capable of introducing the segment because they brought in a co-interviewer...Al Michaels!!!...to do a fluffy movie promo for an upcoming (2004) Disney hockey movie on the 1980 U.S. hockey team starring Kurt Russell. I guess Emilio Estevez wasn't available. I can't tell if Al was called into duty at the last minute as a regular audience member, like a doctor who witnesses a car accident and reports to duty without his white coat, or if he simply understood his role as shill for the company and decided to dress down to limit his embarrassment by leaving the ABC logo off his apparel. That's ELEVEN people called in to cover a sporting event. Or, one announcer for every person watching the damned game on television. The Super Bowl uses fewer announcers than this (though just barely). It's a wonder the announcers don't address the audience directly: "Robert, the atmosphere here in Anaheim is simply electric." "Robert, did you see that hit?" "Oh, Robert, this is truly top notch goaltending." It's a good thing the NBA playoffs are going concurrently, or they'd have even more broadcasters at the game. Although, that would boost the audience for the game. You wonder how Disney/ABC could be in financial troubles. Saturday, June 07, 2003
The Laws of Unintended Consequences The Washington Post has this article about the Bush administration drawing conclusions not supported by the intelligence and analysis they were given. Let's play a game, kids:
It will be curious to see what ineffective Congressional legislation will be passed as a result of this deception (and the lack of WMD evidence). It also will be curious to see if the Democrats can make any hay out of this. I'm not holding my breath. Thursday, June 05, 2003
Great, Now I'll Never Own a House This article in the New York Times today features a growing trend in the real estate market: parents buying houses/condos for, or in partnership with, their children. As if competing in the real estate market as a single person isn't tough enough against double-income couples, now the double-income couples are calling in their wealthy parents to drive up the prices. Now, it's one income against at least 3 and possibly 4 incomes. It is my sincere hope that the entire residential real estate market--except for my mother's home, as she is about 4 years from cashing out--goes right in the crapper! Wednesday, June 04, 2003
I Write the Rationalizations that Make My Whole World Ordered Barry Manilow announced that he broke his nose by running into a wall at his house, possibly requiring reconstructive surgery. We should probably take him at his word, but I'm wondering if we shouldn't be suspicious in light of his recent activities and excuses:
We'll have to keep an eye on this fellow. Hillary Contest Closing Out This is your last reminder to enter the Hillary Contest. Your goal is to predict the number of mentions of Monica in her new book. For details, go to the archived link. Lather, Rinse, Repeat The airlines are heading back into the food service industry, hoping to sell food to passengers. Once upon a time, airlines were a flying 3-star restaurant; then, they cut corners with meals so they became a comedy cliche to the point that airlines phased them out. Now, we see food returning, but on a pay-as-you go basis. I wonder though whether they won't get themselves into a competitive cycle such that, after all the major carriers offer the service, some airline won't offer the food free as an inducement to customers to switch airlines, touching off a new cycle of freebies, corner-cutting on quality, elimination of food service. Perhaps these cycles are inherent to the competitive process, in which differentiation is the method for effecting changes in consumer consumption. But, it is stupid, another example of irrational results of rational behaviors (e.g., cycles of clothing fashions, cycles of nostalgia). You would think after decades of organizational and business research, somebody could figure out how to break cycles on a consistent basis without sacrificing market position. In the airlines' case, it seems the individual carriers operate as poachers, focusing on skimming clients from other carriers and not focusing on serving their regular customers. O.k., sure, upgrades here and there as part of a frequent flyer program are nice, but they are not free because the passenger buys them over the course of time on overpriced flights. The flyer is not actually better off, though they may perceive themselves as better off. What would make them better off is reducing waiting times before and after landing, competition for runway slots at airports, and other reducing the factors that waste customers' time and money. Tuesday, June 03, 2003
Book Recommendation I'm passing along a book recommendation. Mil Millington's "Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About." My girlfriend recommends it highly, and I've reviewed his website, www.milmillington.com, and it's got some funny stuff. How Low Can You Go? This report indicates the U.S., Germany, and Japan will lower interest rates further to fend off the possibility of deflation. Reminds me of one of my Slant articles about negative taxation. [Ed: Men and interested ladies, do yourself a favor and check out the cover for this issue.] My question is: if we get to negative interest rates, does that mean that I will eventually have to pay the bank for my account? Wait, I already have to do that anytime I try to access information about my account or use of any of the money in it. Sometime in the next ten years somebody will write about why interest rates should have been rising during the late 90s, dampening the boom and giving room for stimulating effects of rate cuts. Monday, June 02, 2003
Alert Level Update I forgot to update the Terror Alert Level by Land's End last week. I've added a graphic to the left so you can check for yourself. Look Ma, No Hands! I just saw an article on USAToday about California mandating hands-free or headset cell phone use. I'm less interested in a debate about whether this is good policy or not and more interested in what happened to the original car phone. It's fun to look back at Wall Street and see Michael Douglas on the beach with a phone the size of a toaster oven to his ear. Car phones weren't any less bulky. What I wonder though is why some cell phone company hasn't partnered with an auto manufacturer to place a console in the dash (or arm rest or ceiling or car door) to insert your phone for two purposes: 1. recharging, and 2. hooking into a speaker system (not the stereo speakers). You could still plug your headset to the phone, it'd just be on this base unit. I guess the problems are that so much is designed for the cigarette lighter--which was on its way to becoming the appendix of the car as people stopped smoking--and having a base that could accommodate all types of cell phones. But, these would seem to be surmountable barriers. I mean, they put DVD video players in cars now for god's sake! Heck, replace the cigarette lighter and ashtray space with a slot to insert your cell phone. Of course, I'll have to be dragged kicking and screaming to the cellular world, so I don't give a damn. Sunday, June 01, 2003
Slowdown Buenos dias! In the aftermath of grant application season, I've been in job-hunting mode. [If you know of anyone looking for a SAS programmer in the Chicago/NYC/LA areas, feel free to email me.] In this world, three types of books seem guaranteed to sell:
Sadly, my resume looks very much like the "Before" page of the comparisons. Apparently, logic no longer matters. Perhaps I need to buff up my Photoshop/Flash skills and send a full-page advertisement or multimedia presentation to be interesting. What is so funny looking at resume books is that every example is successful. Every cloudy resume has its silver lining. "In my old resume, I didn't mention that I had increased sales by 3000%, generating over $100 MILLION for the company. Redesigning my resume to emphasize this achievement really seemed to help." We need a resume book that features the skills of the rest of America. The kind of people who work in jobs--like administrative or fastfood or academia--that have no measurable or valuable results. For example:
O.k., I'm procrastinating. I need to sparkle-up my resume. Ciao! |
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