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Tuesday, April 29, 2003
An Osbourne in Rehab? Jack Osbourne was recently admitted to an alcohol and drug rehab facility. "How could something like this have happened," wondered the boy's mother, Sharon. Agreed his father, Ozzy: "Mrwrewaaarr, mwaarearra, mwwwaaakaalw." MTV, which airs the reality show starring the Osbourne family, is said to be "stoked" at the possibilities this creates for a possible third season. Meanwhile, WHO officials issued a press release today warning people to stay away from Donnie and Marie Osmond or their music, but have issued no warning against Pepsi Twist. "Nobody's touching that stuff anyway," said a police investigator. Madonna Remixes Randy Kim, who played on my AAA-Little League baseball team (the 0-15 Dodgers), posted a link on his site, hifiny.com, to remixes of Madonna's faked MP3 files. For those who don't know, in advance of her new album, Madonna's people leaked fake full-length songs that feature the Material Girl cussing out would-be song pirates. These folks have turned her rants into works of electronica. Enjoy. X-Files? I wondered what had happened to David Duchovny. Check out these photos of Iowa St.'s Larry Eustachy. Hillary's New Book: A New Contest Participation in previous contests has been slow, so I will appeal to two can't miss issues: politics and gambling. I'm hosting a virtual office pool played for virtual money (i.e., not real). Place your virtual bets of 10 virtual dollars on the over/under for the number of times Monica Lewinsky's name is mentioned in the text Hillary Clinton's new book (i.e., excluding the T.O.C. and Index, etc.). The winner will win the entire virtual pool or share it with others with the same bid. (Note: we will count "Monica" or "Lewinsky" or "Miss Lewinsky"; we will not count, "that intern," "that whore," or any other references to her.) Feel free to spread the news of my contest. I will post periodic updates on the distribution of the bids. To Enter: Send me an email with your guess as to the total number of references she will make to Monica in the text. Interested, Interested...and then Suddenly Lost Interest The lead for this story about Ashleigh Banfield piqued my interest: NBC News president Neal Shapiro has taken correspondent Ashleigh Banfield to the woodshed for a speech in which she criticized the networks for portraying the Iraqi war as "glorious and wonderful." I thought the image of her being disciplined in the woodshed was wonderful. I recall her hosting a show on MSNBC called something like, "Ashleigh Banfield: On Assignment" or "Ashleigh Banfield: On Location." I always thought a more interesting ratings grabber would have been: "Ashleigh Banfield: On All Fours." But, hey, that's just me. Monday, April 28, 2003
Creepy Old Man Love this story about Iowa State basketball coach Larry Eustachy attending campus parties on the road and hitting on co-eds. I've heard similar tales about other coaches. I can't wait to see how this plays out. Kind of like the spate of "inaccurate" resumes. This reminds me of the Saturday Night Live sketch about the people who screwed it up for everyone. I can't recall all the details with the radio playing right now, but I see in my memory Rob Schneider on a mock talk show telling how he was responsible for cover charges at strip clubs because he never tipped the dancers. Back in Town Greetings. Back from Alabama again. No drive-in this time though. Used the time productively to listen to David Cross and Dave Attell again. Review is forthcoming. In the meantime, I am intrigued by the new Apple "Music Store" featuring $.99 song downloads and legally permissible copying/burning to computers, iPods, and CDs. I'm curious how long the $.99 price will actually last. I understand that artists think of their songs as babies and they don't want to pick favorites, but songs are not created equal. The economist in me sees that some songs are worth more than others, and people will pay accordingly. If REM ever releases another good song people might be willing to pay more than $.99 for it. Maybe as much as $2.99 or something. But, if the song stinks, you might be willing to buy it, but not even at $.99. I suspect the $.99 price is an intro deal to encourage people to buy their music instead of "stealing" it. If companies initially priced songs differentially, my guess is it would alienate the people they're trying to entice into legal downloads. However, the price can't persist. Only nutty fans or compulsives will want all the songs by an artist from every single album. Rather than get $0.00 for these songs, companies will prefer to take something between $0.00 and $.99. I wonder if the companies couldn't use existing sales data (they certainly should be able to use the new download data) to estimate a true market price for songs a la the stock market. My friend was telling me that Norah Jones came to town about 18 months ago and played a small theatre to a less than sold out crowd; now, Grammys in tow, she sold out an 18,000 seat arena. People might have paid $.05 for a Norah Jones tune, but as downloads increased, the price could have risen accordingly. I guess it's bound to happen, assuming people decide to switch away from free music. Thursday, April 24, 2003
You Don't Say... This is one of those things that drives me up the wall about journalism today, particularly sports journalism. USAToday posted an AP story today reporting LeBron James will announce tomorrow that he is declaring himself eligible for the NBA draft. Two things bug me about this.
I liken this PR-journalism to junk mail: hey, you don't have to help the missing kid on the back of that post card or accept the credit card you're being offered, we're just giving you the information so you can make a decision for yourself; hey, I know you didn't request this porn-site address or information about this weightloss program, but I'm just giving you the information, in case you didn't know that you actually wanted it. Journalists debase their profession when they let the people about whom they are reporting and their PR-department commandeer the reporting process to maximize the benefits for their clients. I know it's a competitive marketplace, but the prevalence of it--pr-journalism and junk mail--seem to make a case for a clear market failure due to negative externalities (i.e., a product is over-produced because the full costs associated with it are not borne by the parties to the transaction). Wednesday, April 23, 2003
New Slant Posted The last print edition of The Slant is online. We're hoping to have Internet editions during the summer though. More 'Toons, Updates In my never ending quest to keep you up to date on fun web animation, here's Mark Fiore's page at the Village Voice. I sent my first New Yorker cartoon submissions ever. I'm checking the mailbox daily for my rejection. Also, I haven't forgotten about the David Cross review. However, I just bought Dave Attell and am thinking about doing a compare and contrast review. Probably won't be until next Tuesday (4/29). And, for the details on my drive-in story, check back on 5/6. In fact, let's make that my goal: I'll continue my regular posts, but, as a procrastinator, I need a deadline. So, I'll make Tuesdays my deadline day for longer, more article-like posts. (Whew, just bought myself some time to get my reviews done. You don't think the readers know that bargaining and negotiating are key delaying strategies of the procrastinator, do you? Nyah!) Tuesday, April 22, 2003
The Incredible Disappearing Batter's Box Mike's Baseball Rants has a post about stopping the beanings through enforcement of the batter's box. An interesting idea. What has me thinking though is, why in the Hell is the batter's box still made out of chalk? Why isn't it made out of the same material and implanted in the ground in the same way that home plate is? Somebody will say safety (spikes caught in the rubber material), but I don't buy it. Do we have many problems with batters or fielders touching home plate? Bean-ie Babies I like to watch a good fight as much as the next fella, but recent spouts of beanings and brawls (e.g., Piazza this spring, Tino Martinez and Sammy Sosa) have me ready to drop the gloves. In fact, I'm ready to bring soccer rules to the game we know and love to save it from itself:
While largely driven by macho bullshit, the "settle among themselves" attitude is also driven by lack of faith in penalties as deterrents for actions. The league has to persuade the players it will enforce the rules seriously. The league could help itself by pitting pitchers and position players against each other within the union: if batters don't want to be hit, well, there're more position players in the union than pitchers, so make the penalties a little stiffer on pitchers. Monday, April 21, 2003
Back to (Ab)Normal Scott Peterson was arrested and charged with murdering his pregnant wife, Laci. He wins the honor of being the first post-Gulf War II "it" story. He will receive a plaque from CNN along with a $50 gift certificate to The Gap. "This couldn't have happened at a better time for us. It's just the jump start we needed for sweeps and the launch of Paula [Zahn]'s new show," said Teya Ryan, CNN executive vice president and general manager. News of his award caused an outcry in Natchitoches, Louisiana. The family of the 22 year-old who shot and killed one person and injured another at Louisiana Technical College, claims he should have won the award. "We had the war all wrapped up by a long ways," said the suspect's mother. "That dude should've been disqualified. That girl'd been dead for like four months already." Agreed his uncle, who wished to remain anonymous, "How the Hell many people do you have to shoot before you can get some serious coverage?" CNN producers considered the young man a finalist for the award, but shooting college students rather than high school students reduced the crime from a tragedy to a mere "unfortunate incident." "Frankly, it can't compete with a beautiful woman dying on Christmas Eve at the hands of her husband while she was pregnant. To lose a baby in that way is totally more tragic," said Ms. Zahn. Sunday, April 20, 2003
You Can't Have One without the Other Here's a story about some Milwaukee Bucks, who apparently were bonding with their new teammate Gary Payton. For communities that are interested in shutting down strip clubs, perhaps a more effective strategy would be to ban professional athletes from coming to town. Seriously, 90% of the economic benefit to a Super Bowl host city has to be in sex clubs and drugs. I'm no prude, but is life on the road such a drag that you will spend every night in every city of your entire professional career gawking at naked women and getting high? (Though, I guess they pay enough that gawking is not all they get to do.) Still, you'd think even one night they might just catch a movie. Thursday, April 17, 2003
Holy Crap! Somebody not only read the site, but responded to a series of my posts. I feel like the guy who's playing with himself in the bushes outside your teenage daughter's window when she catches him, which, of course, is what he was hoping for. Twisted similes complete, let's go to his response on the digital theatres: I like the idea about indie films at movie theatres. The problem is the same as the problem in modern radio. There's no incentive for the local station manager to play indie music, and even if there was Clearchannel would tell him to get over it...and fast. There's no place for creativity in this land of ours, damn it! We're making MONEY here!!! I acknowledged some of this in my post through reference to the chains and any contracts the theatres have with them. However, I don't think the analogy quite fits. My understanding (probably wrong) is that the theatre chains enter rental agreements with the movie studios which guarantee a decreasing share of the box office receipts for the film. So, if you run a Regal Cinema and have 3 screens of X2, you'll agree to give the studio 90% of ticket sales for those screens the first weekend, 85% the second weekend, and so on. The terms vary with the size of the title and the power of the studio. And this is where the analogy breaks down: Clear Channel has the record companies paying them for access to the airwaves; Carmike and Regal and so on have to pay for the content. I think if they had a reasonable expectation of putting butts in seats, they'd prefer to take a huge percentage of the box office on a film or collection of short films. The exception might be when the studio also owns the theatre chain (e.g., Sony). Another place where it breaks down is that radio is on all the time and only FCC-licensed stations can broadcast. There is little to no substitute for radio airplay (though XM and Sirius satellite radio are changing that). Theatres, on the other hand, typically only run from maybe 6:00p-12:00a during the week and 11:00a-2:00p. There's room to get in at other times of the day, with the only cost being a minimum wage employee or two and one screen's worth of electricity. Also, as theatres demonstrate at every viewing, there is room on the schedule to show things other than the feature presentation. One way to soften up audiences to the advertising glut is to provide some value added. Shorts and animation would be perfect for this. Pixar has been able to get a few shorts screened, but it looks like theatres and chains have extensive leeway to program anything between screenings of the feature presentation. Don't get me wrong, I don't think my vision is a certainty, and it's not without obstacles. But, the economist in me says that if the entry costs are lowered and there is time to fill, then there is an opportunity to make money. And, I think somebody will find a way to do it using independently produced shorts, features, and animation. Pass the Ketchup! Sadly, diet guru Dr. Robert Atkins, proponent of the low-carb high-protein high-fat diet, died today at the age of 72. In accordance with his wishes, his body will be ground into a meat loaf and served to his followers. His family requests that you please send mayo instead of flowers. Pranksterism: The Modern Activists It's funny how interconnected the world is. This tidbit, about a site which demonstrated how to reprint UPC codes and other info on how UPC codes are often wrong, showed up at USAToday.com. The site is still up in modified form at re-code.com. Last night I read a New Yorker article about PETA and its publicity seekers (Ed.: It should be the 4/14 or 4/21 issue, but it's not on their site now. I'll update this entry with the info when I get it.). And our paper, The Slant, had its own brush with infamy after announcing our chancellor had died in a faked edition of the Vanderbilt newspaper. Wednesday, April 16, 2003
Rebooting Your Movie Theatre I saw this AP article at USAToday about Microsoft's new deal with Landmark Theatres. The projectionists can barely focus a film and fit it on the screen (often fitting it completely on the screen is beyond them). Now they have to know how to run a computer? It's intriguing that they would consider shipping the films on CD/DVD. Is there a piracy protection system that hasn't been cracked? One of these days I will vent to you on copyrights in music/film. What's more interesting to me is the potential that outfitting theatres with digital projection equipment has for promoting independent film, shorts, and animation. Now that DV is a real possibility for even cheapskates and everyone thinks he/she is the next Quentin Tarrantino (guilty as charged), installing this equipment at theatres will break the technological barrier to filmmakers' access to theatres. Other barriers may still exist, but it won't be the cost of film. Imagine, for example, if movie theatres had digital technology when the South Park The Spirt of Christmas short was circulating the Internet. An enterprising theatre manager could have screened the short, generated buzz, and eventually shown it with the trailers for some other R-rated film. The Internet is definitely a faster transmission method, but the movie would have been dumped into a potentially more infectious population (movie-goers). My hope would be that some motivated theatre managers at the chains or the few remaining independent theatres like The Belcourt in Nashville or The Senator and The Charles in Baltimore would use slack time at the theatre (e.g., midnight movie time slots, post-midnight movie, trailers, kid-oriented shows during the week). One incentive is the availability of cheap (possibly quality) product to substitute for expensive crap from the studios. A theatre stuck with Daredevil in week six and only five people in the audience might figure it will as easily get five people to see a collection of short films by local or regional film directors, who would drum up the audience for them. On the dark side, the desperation for screentime might create a situation where theatre owners could charge the filmmakers for screen time, in the same way that stage theatre owners charge theatre companies for productions. Another incentive is that many people who work at movie theatres are movie fans. To the degree that they are able to do so, within their chain contracts, I suspect they would be eager to find the next superstar director or actor and would do much to help promote the work of independent directors. It's like when a college town becomes "the" place for new music talent. One year it's Athens, another it's Chapel Hill, another it's Austin, another it's Seattle. These're mostly established markets now, but they weren't always. Having a steady stream of young, motivated people with time on their hands and a cheap outlet for their skills eventually produces interesting, marketable stuff. Someday we will see a city become the "grunge"/Seattle of the movie world. [The effect on the movie festival circuit is interesting to think about. Almost every city now has one, but they're expensive to produce. Now, they could screen the films on a regular and near costless basis, squeezing out some efficiency from existing operations. The big festivals might not be hurt so bad, but directors that don't get picked up would essentially be free agents and might actually have a chance to succeed. Just like in the NFL--most undrafted players don't ever make a team, but some get invited to camps and even go on to productive careers.] Of course, the downside is that most independent films probably suck. Just like most blogs, including the one you're reading. They're independent because no company would front the money for such pieces of crap. It relies on people being motivated to sift through and screen the films and people showing up to see them. And even the good ones may never hit. But, that hasn't stopped bands from forming and performing. Some get to the level of local circuit, some get to regional, some break nationally for one song, some become legends. Here's hoping that some good short films, animation, and independent features are coming our way. Signs I can't tell if this is a positive thing: I'm 32 years old and still fill out the 1040-EZ. Is this a sign that I need to grow up, or a sign that I have outwitted those fools who have bought homes, gotten married, and had kids? Ladies and dads, this would be a solid screening question for prospective husbands/son-in-laws. I, of course, am the exception that proves the rule. Good Riddance, MJ Tonight is the night MJ finally(?) rides off into the basketball sunset. Though I guess since the world is round and spinning all the time, it's always sunset somewhere, so he always has a chance to ride off into it. Perhaps that explains his third basketball incarnation. That or an urge for more tail from across the nation. (Ed.: I know I promised drive-in and David Cross, but those'll have to wait a bit.) After two years, it's time to hold basketball sportswriters accountable for their ridiculous statements like: "MJ will will this team into the playoffs"; "Michael will not let this team lose"; "Michael makes everyone around him better." And so on. Of course, it'd be easier to hold writers accountable if I had any of their actual quotes, but you know who the usual suspects of MJ worship are: Michael Wilbon, David Aldridge, and everyone at NBC and ESPN. It's also the hack local sports columnists who echo public sentiment and repeat age old wisdom (spelled c-l-i-c-h-e-s). So, I put it to you:
Yes, the team has improved its won-loss record, though nowhere near the level of 1997-98 in the Webber/Howard era. They've gone from a .300 ball club to a .450 ball club. And, yes, they've sold out their games, improving the team's financial position. But, the premise behind MJ's return was that would teach these players something about how to be better basketball players themselves so that when he left they would be better than if he had never been there. Right now, his effect is that of a talented basketball player joining the team. Next year presents the real test. Is there any reason to thing next year's team is any better than a .300 ball club? If so, is it possible then that they might have performed better this year had MJ not taken so many shots from younger, better players. Oh, and while I'm bitching about the Wizards, let me ask this question: If Abe Pollin was concerned about the message that naming a team the "Bullets" promotes, why the Hell did they have throw-back jersey night and why are the jerseys for sale? I grew up a Washington Bullets fan, and I will always be one. As consistently sub-par as the team has been between 1980 and 2003, I still like Abe Pollin and Wes Unseld. But, the organization seems to have a nostalgia problem. Let's trade for an aging Moses Malone! Let's trade for an aging Bernard King! Let's get Michael Jordan! They all played pretty well for the Bullets/Wizards. And they generated fan enthusiasm and probably ticket sales. But, they have not built a successful team or acquired skilled basketball talent on the verge of stardom. The last Bullets draft pick to contribute well over several years was Greg Ballard. The last really productive player over several years was Tom Gugliotta. The last under the radar guys were Mahorn and Ruland. It's frustrating to watch a team make so many disastrous decisions (paging Kenny Green!), and I believe we're doomed to more of the same after Michael leaves. But, I know they will not get better as long as he's with the team, nor are they likely to get better as long as Unseld--as much as I love him--is in charge of player personnel. So, good riddance, Michael! Anti-Climactic Here I was all worked up for a long line of cars squeezing into parking lots only to find out the post office chosen would not pick up mail. What are the odds that the first post office I went to was both deserted and picking up mail at midnight? To quote my second favorite Taxi exchange (after "What does a yellow light mean?") in response to the question, "What are the odds of that?": Jim: Gotta be fifty-fifty. I bet if I had gone to the 24-hr post office at the airport, it'dve been happenin'. (Ed.: You don't see much of the double contraction anymore, do you? A language pet peeve: the substitution of "of" for the contraction of "have." Ex: You should of seen that babe! Instead of (or is it "'ve"?): You should've seen that babe!) I guess my prediction that Tax Day was like New Year's was a little too prophetic: I went home early, no swingin' party, and out before midnight. Only no Dick Clark or Hootie and the Blowfish to make the night complete. Tuesday, April 15, 2003
Into the Front Lines April 15 is like New Year's for procrastinators. So, I'm off to my New Year's celebration at various Nashville post offices. We'll see which ones are actually open and report back. Toodles. Monday, April 14, 2003
Coming Attractions Greetings everyone. Been out living my life so that I would have something to report back to you all. When I get a chance tonight, we'll get to hear about "Robert's Trip to an Authentic Drive-In Movie Theatre." I'll also have a review of David (Mr. Show) Cross' double-CD comedy album. And, in my never-ending quest to make my blog function like a bad morning radio station, there will be a new contest/reader survey. Btw, the deadline for your entries in the "My Worst/Funniest (but True) Procrastination Story" passed on Friday. You may now begin writing and submitting them. Thursday, April 10, 2003
New Slant Ready The newest issue of The Slant is online. Check it out. I don't have much in there this issue except the Roger Ebert blurb in "Other News." Clown Princes of Baseball The Baseball Hall of Fame has cancelled a previously scheduled celebration of Bull Durham's 15th Anniversary at Cooperstown this month. Anybody who has read this blog at all will know my reaction to the Hall's decision ("fucking douchebags"). I suppose honoring Bull Durham makes sense since it single-handedly did more to promote minor league baseball than anything MLB has done in the past 50 years. However, there seems to be a growing trend toward dubious acknowledgment of film anniversaries (and actors). How does Ben Affleck get on "Inside the Actor's Studio?" Great, I'm really looking forward to James Lipton hosting the cast reunion for "21 Jump St.," if that hasn't already aired. Dirty Dancing was a nice enough film for what it was, but did it warrant such hoopla for its 15th anniversary last year? Are we doomed to celebrating its 20th and 25th and 30th anniversaries. I can't wait for Ahmad Rashad and Summer Sanders to interview Shaq on the 10th anniversary of Kazaam. Film festivals and museums provide context and analysis that deepen appreciation. The mere passage of time or the coincident release of the 22nd anniversary deluxe collector's DVD with all new footage, commentary, and delete scenes does not make the anniversary or film or actor important. That said, I'm waiting for John Hughes to get his honorary Oscar in 2006 on the 20th anniversary of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Tuesday, April 08, 2003
Dar-ryl! Dar-ryl! Or, How I Became a Met Fan Darryl Strawberry has been released from prison after his umpteenth prison term. Growing up, Darryl was my favorite position player, and his partner in crime (literally), Dwight Gooden, was my favorite pitcher. Watching their careers implode during the '90s is one of my least favorite baseball memories. How is it possible that these two men could be the favorites of a young boy in suburban Maryland? Well, that calls for a story...
Take care of yourself, Darryl. Something We Can All Agree On... Many around the country won't recognize Boondocks, a black comicstrip with a hero equivalent in age, if not politics, to Calvin of Calvin & Hobbes, because their papers don't carry it. Apparently the Boston Globe refused to run this strip. Whatever your feeling on the war, I think we can all agree about Cuba Gooding, Jr.: Show me the self-respect! Better Luck Next Year I'm sure you were as shocked as I was that USAToday was shut out of this year's Pulitzer Prizes. Hang in there guys and gals! If Susan Lucci can win an Emmy, surely you...ah, who am I kidding. You won't win a Pulitzer until there's a category for "Best Infographic" or "Best Use of Bulletting in an Article, 200 Words or Less." We're pullin' for you though! Monday, April 07, 2003
Technology or Management? This whole "friendly fire" issue has been on my mind. During the lead-up to the war, many of the stories focused on how the US military had taken important technological steps to decrease such incidents. Some of this related to the coordination of computer systems within units. An important part in this effort was the 1"-square of material that would signal to coalition forces that the person was a friendly. The wag in me says, "Perhaps we need to make the entire uniform out of this material." In spite of these improvements, many friendly fire incidents have still occurred, most notably this weekend's attack on a special forces/Kurdish defense convoy. The conspiracy theorist in me thinks, "Well, I guess Colin Powell's meeting with Turkey turned out well for the Turks." But, I'm willing to assume no malicious intent on the part of the person's (and organization's) decision to fire. What it has me thinking about though is whether "friendly fire" is a management issue or technology issue. The hope of the technology solution is that automation and systematic information gathering will improve performance. No human could gather and process so much information simultaneously, so computers could perform a host of redundant and tedious tasks and report information back to humans incredibly efficiently with positive results. And, perhaps the technological solution is still viable, but they are perpetually learning, improving code and decision rules for the systems. That seems to be the case with systems like the Patriot missile. One wonders though as to the official range of statistical error for such devices. But, maybe these friendly fire incidents are in fact a result of the management and organizational structure of the US military. I wonder whether these incidents, which typically involve cross-military units (e.g., Air Force on Army), are a result of our emphasis on a hierarchical, top-down mode of bureaucratic organizational structure. Because information is rationed out and the branches coordinate in limited ways, maybe the system for information sharing and, indeed, military planning is faulty. I don't know how training occurs, but it would strike me that it would be important for Air Force and Army troops to train together in a systematic way to practice coordination. My naive impression, however, is that, except in maybe a large scale war game scenario, the branches train separately for their own aspects of war and that coordination occurs only at higher levels (e.g., generals coordinate with generals on a given battle plan) and the results filter down to the lower ranks. That would certainly seem to be the case in the US-on-British casualties, as they probably don't train together to anywhere near the degree that units within a US branch or even across branches would. However, I'm happy to be set straight by anyone who can enlighten me. Might a more distributed network model be more effective? Is this not what is implied by our greater reliance on Special Forces teams? Or by Rumsfeld's push for a lighter, faster armed forces? So Close... The Pulitzer Prizes have been announced. Looks like I clued everyone in to the wrong editorial cartoonist at the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. (I still think Rall's funny.) So, check out David Horsey's work. The Flying Bus I read this article today on "funny flight attendants." Like most people, I prefer the funny to the unfunny (or the hostile). What struck me though was how superfluous flight attendants are now. Important for announcements? Hardly. Flights on larger planes with video screens substitute video and voiceover talent for the live performance of flight attendants. Surely audio voiceover is not a technological (or financial) impossibility on an airplane. Food service? Right. Except in first class, almost nobody serves food anymore, certainly not routinely. And most people get fast food in the terminal before the flight anyway, so the whole drink-and-peanut service is redundant. About the only reasons I can think of are:
The flight attendants' unions has fought to preserve these jobs. They lose jobs, wages, and benefits often, but they still have some jobs to fight for. If it hadn't been for unions, some airline would have done away with them completely, saving salaries, benefits, and all the free flights and hotel expenses for the staff. Unfortunately for flight attendants, the gradual decay of union power means this profession will die out unless we find a genuine use for them. Saturday, April 05, 2003
Toons Toons Good for Your Heart While investigating the demise of Rewind, I went through the Seattle Post-Intelligencer and found Ted Rall's editorial cartoons. I'm a sucker for a good cartoon, especially leftist ones. Enjoy. Rewind Complete Apparently Rewind will no longer be distributed nationally. I thought we would still get to hear everything on the Internet, but sadly, it looks like they are down for the count. sniff I'll leave them up for a couple of days just in case they rise from the dead, it being Eastertime and all. Friday, April 04, 2003
Baghdad International Airport Now Open for Customers Now that the US Army has control of the airport, Starbucks and Cinnabon have airlifted supplies to the troops. They will receive 15% off with any grande coffee-drink and a cinnabon or pecanbon. slurp! They will also be the first tennants in the airport's food court. Ari Fleischer says W.H. Smith has won the contract for the Alif concourse's news stand. Greatest Time Waster Ever Discovered! My friend at work, Brian, clued me into this website, HomeStarRunner. The funniest damned animation. Funnier than the first time I saw "AquaTeen Hunger Force" and almost as funny as the first South Park video (Jesus v. Santa). To get the full dose of humor, start with "comic." Tool around, it's a procrastinator's dream! Big, BIG FUN!!! College Athletics Union? During the past month the NCAA, its conferences, and member schools have unwittingly set in motion a cycle of events that will result in a college athletics union. This week the University of North Carolina forced coach Matt Doherty to resign after a players revolt. He had lost two transfers last year and at least three more threatened to transfer after this season. The players were upset about Doherty's infamous temper (spelled "hostile work environment"). A similar chain of events, led by ex-players, led to Bobby Knight's ouster at Indiana. Last month, we saw Georgia's basketball players go to court--and lose--to force the university to complete its basketball season. The players' rationale was that the players on the team had committed no violations and that it was unfair to punish them for the administration's failure to oversee its coaching staff and recruiting processes. And, most notoriously of all, the St. Bonaventure's players instituted a work-stoppage when they refused to play the last two games of their season after the Atlantic-10 Conference ruled the team ineligible for their post-season tournament and forfeited victories. St. Bonaventure's administration had admitted and used on the team an academically unqualified player. Sports fans despise unions in professional sports because they see them as a tool to increase already outrageous player salaries, disrupt franchise stability through greater free agency, and extort more money from them on the theory that all player costs are passed on to fans. Fans would likely despise a college union for similar reasons if it resulted in players being paid above and beyond their scholarships. However, these junkies often support some player positions that a union could help. Few things rile up fans more than a coach leaving his team after committing to a recruiting class. Few things except when the coach leaves the team because of recruiting violations that are visited upon the remaining players, whose ability to transfer the NCAA limits. Some of you may say, "What the hell are you talking about? They're in college." Yes, but students are not exempt from organizing. Graduate students in the University of California system participate in a union that protects them from unfair work practices (e.g., being forced to teach too many classes or hours and jeopardizing their own graduate studies), ensures decent insurance coverage, and assures fair compensation. In fact, several states with major research universities have graduate student unions. The hours spent away from class, the long travel schedules, and the meager compensation relative to the universties', conferences', and NCAA's revenues make this a ripe opportunity for unionization. Money moves things. But, it will also help in other work situtations, as with an abusive coach. And for those of you who say: "Yeah, but athletes are on scholarship," so are most of the graduate students at these universities. It's not clear what makes undergraduate student-athletes so different from graduate student-researchers. In both cases, the students are a cheap source of labor for what the university produces. In one market, it's sports entertainment, in another it's research and knowledge. The NCAA is an organization that represents the interests of its member institutions first and foremost and which only incidentally cares about the student athlete; graduate students should be thankful that they do not also play sports. Yes, the NCAA does some things that help students. For example, the catastrophic injury insurance program reduces some of the costs and risks of injury that players bear, especially star players. I believe there are also insurance programs for likely high round draft picks who stay in school. But while the NCAA may do such things with genuine concern for athletes, it may also do them for fear of losing players to the pros and risking the NCAA its many of millions of dollars in revenues. And not all student-athletes have insurance protection for athletics-related injuries. A union would redress the balance of power between students and their schools/employers. Thursday, April 03, 2003
Calamari for Everyone! Fishermen from New Zealand caught a 300 lb., 16 ft. squid in Antarctica. The Kiwi crew mutinied after running out of marinara sauce 1/3 of the way through the squid. For Entertainment Purposes Only On the recommendation of my friend, Josh, here is an interesting website featuring Christian comics, called tracts. Apparently, you order the comics and leave them in public places to be read by the unsaved (i.e., everybody). Nice artwork. I'll have to keep them in mind when I need some storyboarding done. Playboy Adviser Here's a column from the Boston Globe on Playboy's makeover. If any of you have seen the redesigned magazine, rate the changes and send me your comments. If you were Editor-in-Chief at Playboy, how would you improve the magazine? I'll post the best and weirdest ideas. Wednesday, April 02, 2003
It's a Matter of Interpretation USAToday reprints this AP story about the Iraqi family that was mistakenly shot at a checkpoint. The relevant section: Sgt. 1st Class Stephen Furbush, an Army intelligence analyst, said the message read: "To be safe, stay put." So, maybe it's more specifically a translation matter. Perhaps more interesting was this: The family of 17 packed into its 1974 Land Rover. Hassan's father drove. In his 60s, he wore his best clothes for the trip through the American lines: a pinstriped suit. I didn't realize the Land Rover was such an old model. Run Around Sue This article at USAToday reports on a class action lawsuit brought against the theatre chains to compensate audience members for lost time due to ads. This is the lawsuit site. The knee-jerk response will be, "Great, another frivolous lawsuit." Unfortunately, it seems that the only effective way to make any change in this country--whether it is about access to required services or recovering for specific harms--is with a lawsuit. I think it speaks more to the unresponsiveness of government to the public and corporations to consumers than to the greediness of the plaintiffs or their lawyers. What puzzles me is why companies advertise in these situations. Is there any evidence that these ads in this context are that effective? Even if you assume that the audience does not turn hostile, I wonder whether they really push anybody over the edge toward buying a product or even thinking more favorable about the brand. My guess is that they are not that effective, but companies either believe them to be effective or hate to cede any territory to a competitor, even when it's inconsequential. It's hard to fault the theatre owners as they're just milking an anxious cow, but I think some civil and not-so-civil disobedience would make them reconsider. Booing is nice. Sneaking in stuff to litter (e.g., newspaper, your own giant coke, a bag of bulk candies, etc.) seems like fun. Organized walk-outs (everyone leaves the theatre when the previews begins and returns at the start of the show) or walk-ins (get everyone to wait outside until the movie starts) would be impressive to see. If people are concerned about losing their seats, your audience-organizer could pass out "seat saves" that could be velcroed or taped onto the seats. Now, if only they would start a class action suit against parents who bring their under age 3 children to see R-rated movies (and the theatre owners/managers who permit it), I would sign up in a heartbeat. There's nothing that annoys the crap out of me more than listening to kids scream, cry, or ask their parents about what's going on in Natural Born Killers and The Patriot (which I've seen first-hand). Theatres should spend more time screening out infants and toddlers from R-rated movies than some high school couple on a date. Tuesday, April 01, 2003
Did I Blow a Seal? No, but I Flogged the Dolphin A friendly (anonymous) reader in The Navy responded to my dolphin/Tailhook jokes (Ed: I'll figure out how to link soon. It's 3/28/03 and 3/29/03 below). Apparently, it's worse than you can imagine: the navy special operations divers and SEALs have been using the dolphins for some time for find mines, hunt for enemy divers trying to attack our ships, etc. the guys who dive with the dolphins often become "attached" to the dolphins just like the workers at sea world. sometimes the dolphins behave as you may have seen a dog or cat in heat behave. in cases like this, the only way to quell their aggressive behavior is by jerking them off. i heard it from a guy who has seen it done, so it must be true. after that, the dolphins (without having a cigarette) seem content enough to get back to work. Is there a line for this on your resume? Does this go under, "Special Qualifications?" Perhaps this will become a new motivational strategy at work. Talk to your HR Department, pronto! The International Language...You Know... Apparently the international gesture for "Stop! We mean you no harm" is gunfire. Definitely a hard, hard job, and I don't envy them one bit. Malcolm Gladwell, a writer for The New Yorker, has an excellent article that describes people who have a skill for not making these types of misjudgments. Also, do yourself a favor and buy his book, The Tipping Point. This brings up a question I've had since the beginning of the war about these so-called PsyOps and InfOps. Perhaps this is just my parochial, colonial side coming out, but I wonder whether the images and messages we send to Iraqis are interpreted by them in the way that we intend for them to be interpreted. Even in the States, we seem to have communication and design problems, yet we all speak the same language and share more or less the same culture. For example, how many times have you walked the wrong way through a line at a store, pushed on a door instead of pulled, or tried to click on what looked like a link but turned out to be just underlined or otherwise highlighted text. Question 1 is: Are the principles of intuitive design universal? That is, if you received one of these flyers, would you understand exactly what to do and how to do it right? Question 2: Will the literal message on the pamphlets be understood as messages of safety, even apart from the issue of whether people believe them to be a deceptive trick? I wonder because Americans have 60 years of media saturation such that we are all hardened, embittered veterans with many near-intuitive interpretations of these types of commercials. Might Iraqis think of them as junk mail? Is it reasonable to expect that the types of shared understandings Americans have for these advertisements would be shared by the Iraqi people? Perhaps there is a psychology expert reading this somewhere to help us out. |
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